If you are caught up in divorce proceedings, it can be an very stressful experience, even when the divorce is friendly, and not filled with anger. When you have an uncontested divorce, the issues of child custody can usually be taken care of by mutual agreement, without lots of drama and disagreement. When a divorce is contested and filled with anger, however, the matter of who gets to have custody of the children can become a major combat zone. If you should find yourself involved in this kind of situation, there are certain things that you should try to do to help improve the odds that you will be able to win your struggle to be granted custody of your children.
* Make certain that you don’t expose your children to environments that are unhealthy, or that could prove harmful. If you are a smoker, by all means stop! If stopping is totally impossible (that is, if cigarettes are more important to you than your children), then at the very least, you must never smoke when they are around. Not only is it extremely bad for their health, but it can provide a very powerful weapon for your former spouse during the hearings.
* If you are already involved in a new romantic partner, be very careful when it comes to making an open display of affection with your new lover. This is very important, for at least two reasons: first, it can be quite upsetting to your children when they witness this, because they still may have intense feelings of loyalty to your former spouse. Second, the court will typically frown on it if children are being exposed to an highly sexual or erotic environment. You most also be certain that you are spending enough time with your children, and that you are not ignoring them to spend time with your new partner.
* Give a lot of thought to where your children would prefer to live. Try to find out what their preference is, even though it might turn out that they do not want to live with you. If your children have a strong desire to remain with your ex, if you insist that you be granted custody of them it can be not only self defeating, but it can be damaging to your relationship with them in the future. The only time this warning would not apply would be in a situation where you have honest, well-founded concerns for the safety of your children in the event they were to remain with your ex – and even if that is the case, you must recognize that there may be resistance from the children if you win custody, and they prefer to live with your former spouse instead.
* Be as involved as possible in the lives of your children throughout the duration of the custody process. By doing this you will cast yourself in the most favorable light in the eyes of the Court. If you seem to the Court to have left your children to the care of your former spouse, you will almost certainly lose your custody battle.
* Do your everything possible to hire a very competent attorney who can really help you with your custody case. An attorney who holds your best interests as a top priority will be your best ally in your quest for custody of your children. Unfortunately, finding that kind of attorney is often a real gamble.
Even if you have a top-notch lawyer, you still need to have a second resource available to you. This should be something that can provide an alternate source of necessary information and advice to help you. By having that, if your attorney does turn out to be mostly interested in collecting fees while doing little actual work, you have another source of guidance. Another reason to have an alternative resource – other than your attorney – is that many attorneys are simply not able to keep up with all the newest psychological and legal ideas about custody, as well as the kinds of evidence, and the types of allegations that will succeed(or are bound to fail ) in the courtroom.
The best way to get access to this vital support information is to get a Custody Guide that is written by well-known experts in the field of child custody. You need to get information from experts who specialize in child custody and have the depth of experience and know-how that allows them to compile the important information, and to keep it current. It is important that they be able to present the information in a way that makes it possible for an average person to understand it, and use it effectively. There are a many sources for this type of guide that can help you find your way through the confusing legal maze that is Child Custody. The links in the resource box will provide further information.
Find out more about the best strategies to use in your custody fight. Receive copies of two FREE reports about child custody by clicking: Free Child Custody Reports. Then, discover more resources that can help you in your fight for custody at Custody Matters. This article, Tips For Winning Child Custody, Part 1 is available for free reprint.
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